Creating a comfortable and warm atmosphere is a top priority for readers. A tarot reading session that goes smoothly and in mutual trust is ideal for some magic to happen! Emotions are touch, some tears may come out and sometimes, we will get to witness the beginning of healing!
However, there are ways of making the whole thing wrong! This is what you can do, as a querent, to prevent ruining the experience for you and your reader!
5 things that RUIN your Tarot experience.
1 – “The other reader said…”
Please, please, please, no! First of all, I do not recommend going to different readers in a short amount of time with the same question. However, if you still decide to seek a second opinion, refrain from starting your reading with “The other reader said…”. This is a very quick way to ruin the mood as well as creating a dilemma.
Let me elaborate on this.
When you enter a reading with another reading in mind, you are not fully open to the messages that may come. You are seeking confirmation of a first message.
As well, your reader is now in the uncomfortable position of checking a fellow reader’s work. This gets particularly tricky when we have to give the bad news. Now, two possibilities open. One is not good for you, the other may be awful for the reader.
Option A) Is a truth universally acknowledged that we tend to take the answer we want as the good one, right? Nobody wants to be the bad guy, and we are aware of this tendency of making the undesirable reading the fake one. Your reader may choose not to deliver your reading as they see and to agree with the previous reader. Not productive, right? This tendency is particularly increased in reading apps, hotlines and such, where pressure is high and a bad review can dramatically cut down your income.
Option B) The reader chooses to be honest and deliver the reading as they see. They know it is not what you wanted to hear! Probably, you decide that this reader is inaccurate and has no idea of what is going on before their nose. The reader has just risked their reputation. Un-com-for-ta-ble!
Bonus: Option C) You probably are a reasonable querent that will put the information into quarantine. Even though, it is just not cool to start like this!
2 – Playing “test the reader”.
This is one of the most common and frequent mood ruiners of all times. Perhaps you feel that “testing your reader” in order to
whatever “check the connection” means – your reader is no Wi-Fi – is a great idea. This can really be avoided by just trying to think how would we feel in this situation.
You probably remember a situation where you felt that your skills were being questioned. A day when your manager put you ability to sign a form in the right place to question. These kind of things don’t really evoke feelings of collaboration, do they?
In my private consult, I refuse to work with reader testers. However, in other sites where I work as a reader I don’t always have the option to decline. Really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, it is not a good idea to piss your reader in general, but if they can’t refuse to read for you, it is the perfect bad experience combo!.
Bonus: Along with testing the reader, purposely lying to your reader will only result in your dissatisfaction!
3 – Backseat Reading.
This equally applies to readers and querents who once read an article about Tarot in a magazine.
If you are hiring someone to read for you, let them do their job. You are welcome to add your own views or comments about the cards, and in fact, when done in a nice and respectful way it can add to the reading. Nonetheless, do not try to interpret your reader’s reading yourself, and if you can’t help it, don’t do it out loud!
The whole point of having someone else reading your cards is to obtain a detached an unbiased perspective of what is going on. Don’t get me wrong, you may say “Oh! I think I know what this 5 of Wands is about in this situation!” but forget about reading the cards your way.
Bonus tip: You can avoid all this by just not looking at the cards!
4 – Not knowing if your Tarot Reader is a Psychic, and expecting them to be.
Educating yourself in the difference between a Tarot / card reader and a psychic can come in really handy to avoid disappointment on your end, and to avoid ruining the mood between you and your reader.
We don’t bite (most times), and we are open to having a conversation about what and what not to expect from our work. Giving a look to your reader’s website or asking directly about their skills can be great for creating a trusting environment beforehand!
In any case, here is a brief definition of the differences between a Tarot reader and a psychic.
Tarot / card reader: A person that reads cards.
Psychic: A person who possesses psychic skills.
A Tarot reader can be a psychic and a psychic can be a Tarot reader, but a Tarot reader doesn’t have to be a psychic and a psychic doesn’t have to be a Tarot reader.
Whatever the case, and unless your reader specifies that they do not desire to have any information at all, be open to sharing what is going on so your reader can focus on what really matters: offering clarity.
Bonus: Insisting on having your reader amaze you with their psychic skills can result in wasting a big portion of your time digging on information that you already know and can provide, and leaving less time for digging on the information that you don’t know.
5 – Formulating the same question in an slightly different way over and over and over.
With the intention of obtaining an answer that you like. It is great to look at alternatives. If you don’t like the outcome of a situation, you an always ask “How can I change this?” or “Is there a way to mitigate the negative consequences of this outcome?”. But please, for all that is holy, don’t do this:
Q- Does he love me?
Q- Will he love me?
Q- Will he ever love me?
Q- But, does he feel something for me?
R- Well, he’s not entirely indifferent to your presence.
Q- Then will that evolve into love?
This kind of session burns out your reader, makes you feel confused and
makes baby Jesus cry in despair leaves you feeling powerless and beaten up. Analyze the kind of questions you ask after a primary question. Are you seeking clarity or are you trying to get an emotional pacifier?
Bonus: Your reader probably has your best interest in mind. They don’t tell you that he or she doesn’t love you because they want to see you suffer and have no idea that true love resists everything. I swear.
What can you do instead?
There are a few tips that will help you ensure that both you and your reader have the most amazing time together! Getting a life-changing reader is possible, but it not only requires a great professional but also a collaborative person on the other end.
– Communicate with your reader: Before and during the reading! Let them know about your fears or reservations regarding the reading, what you expect, what you expect to achieve with the reading. As well, if something goes south during the reading, let your reader know!
– Let the reading be a dialogue: Along the lines of the first point. This is a great way of getting to the chore issue and extract the most out of your reading.
– Let trust be your default attitude: Just as with any other professional. Acting suspicious or defensive from the first second will only create unnecessary tension. Start with the assumption that the reader knows what they are doing until they prove the contrary.
– Repeat what you have understood: This way, the reader can be sure that the message got to you as intended and there is no confusion on your end.
– Reflect on your reading during the next days or weeks after the session: The reading is just the beginning. Think about ways of applying your new knowledge in your life, make changes, let your reading be useful!
As you see, the attitude and behaviour that you show in a reading are crucial for making it a great or an awful experience! Just as in most cases, communication and trust are key for an amazing reader-querent relationship!
You can book a reading with me HERE.